Overwhelmed and Burned Out with Kristy Archuleta

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Today we're exploring burnout, stress, and what it takes for clients to show up, even yourself on the very toughest days.

So this is hitting pretty differently right now. Advisors are stretched thin, the profession is demanding, and a lot of people are running on empty. And to bring this to life, I'm joined by Dr. Kristy Archoleta, one of financial behavior keynote group speakers. And she's an expert in helping financial professionals navigate, overwhelm, and reclaim their resilience. So let's dive into her perspective, her keynote, and how this shows up in real conversations. Welcome, Kristy.

Hello, I'm so happy to be here.

Me too. I'm glad to have you back. So I want to start off with where we're at right now in the world of financial services and quite frankly in the world period of this wave of everyone feeling overwhelmed and burned out. What are you seeing?

Yeah, isn't that really interesting? It's we came out of COVID, we everyone was stressed, everyone was feeling very burnout, and then that carried on for several years, and we're still feeling that way. I think one of the things that's important to point out is that Kitzes did a study recently about well being, advisor well being, and showing that actually well being is actually improving among advisors.

you're a younger, newer advisor, you're probably feeling more unwell is what how they termed it. But I think that that's promising in terms of maybe we're kind of getting over that hump from where we were post-COVID, kind of finding our new way. However, the landscape of financial services is really changing. And so with

AI coming on board and really this shift toward more comprehensive, more holistic financial planning is really having to shift how people, how advisors work and how they show up with their clients.

Yeah, and I think we've had a lot of conversations on this podcast, in fact, of how AI is changing that landscape and giving you more time and less. So I want you to really hone in on one, what is burnout and what are the steps you need to take to avoid getting there, regardless of whether the technology is.

Yeah. So burnout is really kind of it might simply put it that it's stress over time. It's really actually defined as work stress over time that is actually managed. There's it's not managed well and that leads to burnout, this feeling of kind of hopeless, just lethargic, just tired. Like you feel like I have this picture in my

head and I actually have this in my presentation too of this lady who's like has her head laying on a desk with her head buried in into her arm. And I think that's a really great depiction of what burnout looks like. It also comes with cynicism and just a lot of negative self-talk that actually then gets sometimes inadvertently spewed out to other people as well. So

Not that we're ill-meaning when we're talking to others, but that cynicism, that just distress that we're feeling is so profound that it really shows up in how we think, how we feel, how we act, which translates into even how we talk to someone else.

Okay, so I love this. We're we're taking the definition here, and we've all felt this way before. So think back on a time you have. And I want you to answer this next one in who cares? Like, why does that? That is my personal side. Maybe I'm struggling my marriage. Maybe I'm struggling with a kid. Maybe I'm just struggling with me, but it doesn't mean I'm servicing my clients any different. Like, Kristy, why does this matter?

if you're feeling burned out in a personal situation, why does it matter in a professional setting?

Well, want us all to think about when you have felt like just so overwhelmed that you're feeling exhausted, so exhausted that you're like, I do not know how I'm going to do today. Like my coffee isn't working, my Red Bull isn't working, all of the things, my sugar high is not working. It's just not cutting it. I'm still showing up exhausted.

I'm cynical about everything. Everything is negative. Even something that might have happened, like, well, there's going to be some sort of end result that's going to be negative. And then just feeling really ineffective. Like it doesn't matter what I do, it's not going to be good enough or it's not going to change anything. So why should I do it? And so I love this question about who cares? We all

As helping professionals in general, we should all really care about this topic because, as I mentioned before, how we show up with our people around us, whether we're managing a team, whether we're leading a company, whether we're working directly with clients, how we show up has an impact on others around us that we are serving, that we are working with, and it can really change the dynamic of a whole

team and it can change the dynamic that you have with a client.

You know, it's so interesting as we've talked, like I have felt this in my own life and it changes the dynamic of a family, even of s when you're snapping at your kids or whether you're snapping at your employees, whatever that looks like. And I think that there's this facade of well, that only is when I'm in this situation, right? And yet what you're saying here is no, no, no. What if you just snapped at an employee and then you walk into a client meeting, that same energy.

100%. And I love that you talk about something that translates into family. Sometimes we're really good about putting on that facade at work. And so we do a little bit better at work, but when we get home, that facade comes down. The barriers come down. And because we can relax with our family. And sometimes we treat the people closest to us the worst because they're still going to show up for us. Right. But that

Wait, are we talking about teenagers right now? Or if anybody can relate, you're probably raising a teenager in this very moment. Yeah, yeah.

I'm talking about everybody.

Right. Exactly. Exactly. I think teenagers are really easy to snap at. I've got like three of them on my house. So and you're just like, gosh, come on. But yeah, so when we take that home and then our family feeds from that, we can literally see how our family reacts to us looks different depending on how we're interacting with them. And so that's just

That's a really good way to recognize like, how am I showing up with my family? Because I might be working really hard not to try to do those things at work, but then I'm showing up with my family. And it's an exhausting process because I still don't have that same energy. I still don't I'm not still not feeling the the effectiveness. I'm still not being positive. I've got all of this this negative talk happening. And so

that our f when our families react to us also, you know, they're gonna react to us probably in a negative way, maybe supportive for a while, but over time, gonna probably slowly go into more negative interactions. But then when that happens, guess what? It's gonna impact how we show up at work even more.

Sure.

Yeah. Well, and we've talked only about established relationships, right? Established clients, we've got family relationships. So let's talk a minute for prospecting. How does this show up for future clients, for future prospects? How does this negative energy play in?

Yeah. Yes.

Mm.

yeah. So it can actually again that facade with a new person can be helpful. Like you're and I'm not saying that when you're feeling burnout that you're effective with your your prospecting client. I'm saying that sometimes it's easier to put up a facade with someone that you've never met. You've got the energy to to do that because there's someone different and you're trying to formulate

A relationship with them. However, when you are showing up with this, remember that burnout is stress that's been unmanaged over a period of time or ineffectively managed over a period of time. That stress is still showing up with you. And clients, prospective clients, established clients can all sense that. They might be like, this person seems a little bit short.

This person doesn't seem like they're willing to actually listen to me because you probably have less patience when you're feeling burnout. and so you're not able to sit in that moment. And we're in a landscape where listening is becoming more and more and more important. Our clients expect for us expect that from us. And so when we have

Yeah, yeah.

A prospective client who's coming in and basically they're doing an interview with you and they don't feel heard, they don't feel like they're the pacing is good, and they're not gonna be like, yeah, the pacing of this session was really terrible. I'm not gonna go with this client. What they're gonna pick up is something is not right, and I don't jive well with this planner or this advisor, and I'm moving on to someone different who can actually understand me.

And I'm moving on. Yep.

And who's willing to take the time to listen to what my to who I am and what my goals really are.

Well, and I think you just said something profound there of listening in the past was kind of an add-on that we would throw in there. Of course, I listen to my clients, like, but I do this beautiful plan for them and I give them all this great detail, and that's what they're paying for, is my advice. I would argue in the day and age that we live in right now, with that transition, that switch, listening is.

Yes. Right.

Mm-hmm.

what they are paying you for. That is the service. That is the price point at this point. And by the way, this kind of even leads into those old established relationships. Guess what? If they don't feel you may have had a client for a decade, but if they don't feel heard, it doesn't take long.

Absolutely.

to switch out and have that change happen rather rapidly. So it's a constant evolution of of not just hearing the new ones, but also hearing those established clients and really listening to them deeply.

Yeah. And I wanna add because that's so important. But I want us to also think about how well we have to show up and how that actually contributes to the burnout itself. Because listening in and of itself, like, yeah, I listen, I can I can understand, I can paraphrase, I can, you know, un understand what they're saying, I can really relate well to people. If you're listening at a level that is deep.

You're going to feel an emotional overload at times. You're going to feel a cognitive overload at times. And it's learning how to actually process that emotion, those cognitions, or how we're thinking about someone in an effective way that's going to be helpful in terms of managing and actually.

reducing the likelihood of burnout because this is really deep work. and I think as as advisors have to listen at a deeper level to get clients to not only join us to become a client, but to stay a client. It's a superpower tool.

Absolutely. I love this. Okay. It's your superpower. There we go. There's your takeaway. I want to build on this because you've got a keynote that's entitled Overwhelmed and Burned Out, Working with Clients Even When You Don't Feel Like It. And I feel like this has been one of those popular topics that has been asked and requested. So tell us more about what this keynote addresses and what's that core message that you're bringing to audiences.

Yeah. I always think about like my intention was never to have a keynote about burnout. So it's kind of funny to me, but it's such an important topic, like you mentioned, because we can all relate to it at some level. and really if we are very stressed, we need to be watching for that because it could lead to burnout. And I think I really it really resonated for me because I have felt

Ha ha ha.

Deep burnout to the point where I was like, I had a friend. I wasn't gonna go join a convent, but they were telling me about a convent where you could like go for the weekend and like you would be in silence and they'd serve you wine and cheese. And I was like, This sounds like a dream come true. And I'm looking for all my ways out of this situation. And so there's this

Yeah.

Turn my brain off.

ongoing level of stress that if you do not deal with it, then it's going to lead to a level of burnout where you are looking for your ways out rather than how can I change something within myself as a way to change the direction of the burnout or to manage my stress better.

Well, and I hear you saying it really stymies creativity, it stymies progress, and it just kind of stops the energetic flow that you would have and that you need to have in this process with your clients.

Mm.

Yeah. You don't even feel like yourself, really. Yeah. And you're looking, you're searching for how do I find who I am and what brought me into this and why I'm doing this in the first place.

Yeah. that sounds a bit like a midlife crisis as well, which can be burnout, right?

Yeah. Could be burnout. Absolutely. Could be burnout.

So I want you to explain next, like who is this talk best suited for and what can someone expect to walk away with?

Yeah, this talk is actually suited for any helping professional. It's really designed for financial advisors, but it is really for any helping professional who is working with either a group of people, whether you're leading a team, whether you're managing an organization that has people in it, whether you're working directly with clients, if you're working with people.

Mm-hmm.

It this is designed for that group.

And what can they walk away with at the end? What is the tangible takeaway for them?

Well, you might actually be surprised because we're gonna talk a lot about some what seems like very simple things to do, which is you need to be getting plenty of sleep, you need to be eating well, and you need to be exercising regularly.

Now, Christy, did you just went to ch into doctor mode? Because that sounds a lot like what my doctor tells me.

I did. I did. I did. I I should know I have no medical degree, and you do not want me even anywhere near you if bodily if fluids are involved. So I will be the rock running the other way. But when we look at the research in terms of looking at longevity issues, when we look at just stress management.

Helping that house be able to become stable and make sure that it didn't fall in anytime soon was we had to address the foundation pieces. And the foundation pieces of managing stress that eventually become burnout, or just you can think about stress management, is really taking care of yourself in terms of getting plenty of sleep, get like, and that means like, you know, it depends upon the person, but.

seven to eight hours typically at night and just really focusing in on how I can do that. And then eating well, making sure, you know, fruits and veggies. I sound like a mom here. Make sure you eat your fruits and veggies and your proteins and all that. And then exercising, like getting out and walking every day for twenty to thirty minutes at at the very, you know, minimum. Those are the things that are going to help us the most. And there's been a lot of s research

lately on sleep that I think are so hugely important. And I think that's something that's really resonated with me in my own life is how do I get more sleep? How do I get better quality sleep so that I do feel refreshed the next day and ready to take on the on the day. And it it makes a incredible difference in terms of how I'm able to show up, how I interact with people, and how I'm able to deal with stress.

and you know, conflictual issues that might come up during the day. And my attitude. that thing.

Absolutely. Well, that thing. Going back to the teenagers. Well, and I so I think we ought to take it and say those are three very practical things that all of us have heard about at one point or one time. Help me make this a little more real. How does this look in a Tuesday morning meeting conversation with a client? What shifts?

Hmm. Do you mean how does it shift when I show up differently? Or yes, because I I'm gonna go back to something you said earlier, that creativity is back on. That ability to be patient turns back on. That ability to be able to listen to that client turns back on.

Yes.

Yeah.

You have more space in your brain to be able to sit with a client. I had a mentor, supervisor that used to tell me you sit, you can sit with a client. You know, if there's a difficult situation or you're this there with the with the client. And what she meant by that was that you sit in their emotion. A lot of times, clients, this you can think about a prospective client.

Mm.

or even established client, a lot of times if they're calling us or if they've, you know, raised the meeting, you know, called to get a meeting set up with you, or they're a prospective client and they've decided to seek your service, there's some sort of trigger that has happen that has triggered that call to you to get that meeting set up. And so it might come with a lot of emotion attached with it. And you can sit in that emotion

with the client because you have the space in your brain and in your body to do that.

Yeah, yeah, it gives you the opportunity to to open up and hear kind of that deeper listening that you were talking about before. If you want to bring Christy's keynote to your team or your audience, visit financial behavior keynote.com forward slash Christy dash archaletta to book her for your next client event or a treat. So as we wrap up, there's one thing, if there was just one thing you could leave with our audience, something they should carry into their next financial conversation, what would it be?

Yep. And here. Yep. It does.

Ooh, what a great question. And I'm not gonna just one thing. So I had we had talked a lot about how we can show up better. So I'm gonna lead with that because that's where it really starts. And so what I'm gonna ask everyone to do is the one thing that you can do today is how can you get to bed a little bit earlier?

I may have taken this from you, by the way. Just one thing sounds like Christy.

So that you can wake up more refreshed tomorrow and manage that conversation differently.

And that could look like five minutes earlier, not an entire two hours type earlier. But it's kind of those incremental steps to putting in progress what it is. Well, Christy

Yeah. Exactly.

Yep. Absolutely. Yep. How can you get to bed any earlier?

This is great. I in fact I should take heed this advice tonight. Five minutes early, everyone heard it here. Five minutes earlier to bed tonight for me. That will help with my overwhelming burnout. And if there's one idea that I think you can resonate with, it's how do you how does the energy that you're bringing into the room, how do you show up differently when

You don't feel overwhelmed when you don't feel stressed, when you don't feel burnout. You're able to listen differently. And I love Chrissy's perspective on overwhelmed and burnout and yet bringing resilience to your team. If you want to know more, connect with us at financialbehavior keynote.com forward slash contact. And if this episode landed with you, subscribe and share it. That's how we move the needle on how people think and talk about money. Thanks for joining us on Financial Behavior Thought Leaders. We'll see you next time.